The Heartbreak of Expat Friendships: A Tale of Love and Loss
Heartbreak and Wisdom The Importance of Expat Friendships
Losing my expat friend after 12 years shattered me, revealing the importance of fellow expat friendships.
As a fashion-savvy expat, living in Germany for over a decade has taught me a valuable lesson – the importance of friendships with fellow expats. These connections are like beautiful accessories that adorn our lives, especially when our loved ones are an ocean away. And let’s be honest, speaking the same language is like wearing matching Gucci outfits at a fashion show – it speeds up any relationship.
But what happens when your closest expat friend decides to make a dramatic exit? It’s like breaking up with your favorite pair of stilettos. It’s painful, heart-wrenching. Trust me, it’s worse than when a contestant gets eliminated on America’s Next Top Model. My dear friend Zoë, my partner-in-crime for 12 fabulous years, packed her bags and set off for a new adventure in Spain. Suddenly, I was left behind, feeling like an outdated fashion trend.
Sure, I can still hop on a plane and visit her. But gone are the days of spontaneous weekend outings and carefree walks in the park. It feels like a part of me is missing, leaving a void that even the trendiest fashion statement couldn’t fill. I’ve mourned our separation like a couture-clad widow.
Being an expat myself, I’ve always tried to protect my heart from getting too close to people who come and go. It’s a survival tactic, like wearing a bulletproof vest in the fashion battlefield. We expats live by a universal rule: when meeting someone new, always ask, “How long are you staying here?” The answer determines whether the conversation, or even the friendship, will continue. It’s a bit like playing a high-stakes game of “Fashion or Faux Pas?”
Our friendship with Zoë started in 2011, when we met online while trying to create a crafting group. Like a meticulously designed outfit, everything just clicked. Our bond grew stronger, and soon we were texting each other before every crafting session, making sure we were both runway-ready. She was English, and yet she spoke with an American accent, making her a fabulous fashion hybrid. It was like finding a rare, limited-edition vintage Chanel bag.
We shared a love for music, film, crafts, and of course, fashion. Our conversations were a mishmash of hilarious memes, heartfelt messages, and adorable photos of our little ones. We even went on family vacations together, creating memories that were as precious as finding a designer bag on sale. Our friendship was the love story of a fashionista, and “best friends” just didn’t do justice to our connection.
Then came the day when Zoë delivered the devastating blow. Her family had inherited enough money to buy a house, and they were outgrowing their cozy apartment in Cologne. I felt like Anna Wintour watching potential fashion disasters on the Met Gala red carpet. They searched far and wide, from Amsterdam to Berlin, and even sunny Spain. In the end, Spain seduced them with its irresistible charm, and they became one of the “best-dressed” families.
We bid our tearful goodbyes on that fateful Monday evening. Our hug was tighter than a corset, but no amount of squeezing could match the depth of our emotions. We could have written our own fashion fairytale, but life had other plans.
Now, I find myself nursing a glimmer of hope, dreaming of new friendships that could rival the magic Zoë and I shared. But let’s be real, it’s like hoping to find a pair of Louboutins on sale AND winning the lottery. Our extraordinary friendship was a one-of-a-kind masterpiece, and finding something similar seems as likely as spotting a unicorn in Milan during Fashion Week.
So dear fashion lovers, let’s cherish those expat friendships that light up our lives like a runway show. Whether they last seven years or twelve and a half, they are the diamonds in our fashion collection. And when the time comes to say goodbye, remember that life is a constantly changing runway, and sometimes our most treasured fashion accessories need to find their place in a new ensemble.
We may shed a few stylish tears, but the memories we’ve created with our expat friends will forever be the glittering sequins of our lives. Let’s embrace their departure with grace and keep our hearts open to new fashion-forward connections. After all, in this grand fashion parade, our friendships are the real love stories.
Image: The author (left) and her friend, Zoë.
Photo courtesy of the author
